I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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