so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am midnight drunk by noon
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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