you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
