goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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