He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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