My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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