Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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