All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
