I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sext me about skeletons
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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