If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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