sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
