instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
