Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
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I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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