No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
