Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
