I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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