if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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