I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
