O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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