I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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