my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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