What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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