Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
