why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize