dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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