booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
