you would pick up someone in the library
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
