Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
