Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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