I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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