i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
