You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
