that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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