I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I would ride that face into the sunset
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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