i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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