Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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