I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
