i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I AM VODKA MAN
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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