garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
