it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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