She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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