I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I want to have your abortion
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
