i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
