This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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