I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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