i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
