He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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