I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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