I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
