it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
