I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
