walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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