You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
