I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Did you pee in the oven last night??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
