The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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