Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
