why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
