I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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